


Where You Rest

by HappyBirddi



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Dedue is there for like a minute, Depressing, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Holding Hands, Language of Flowers, Sad, Sad hour, Survivor Guilt, There's some happiness in there too, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-02 22:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21168740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyBirddi/pseuds/HappyBirddi
Summary: Dimitri and Byleth talk a little about people they miss while taking care of flowers. Five years later, Dimitri finally mourns the loss of his beloved professor.





	Where You Rest

A typical morning for Byleth didn’t really exist. She was a professor and would have to balance planning out lectures with other various tasks. They changed so frequently that she had no set routine. However, there were two things she always did; fish, and tend to the greenhouse.

That day in late summer was no different as she knelt down by one of the flower beds to check on the growing saplings. Obviously, she was not alone. Dedue also checked on the gardens here every day. But what differed was that Dimitri, who she had put on garden duty, was with the Duscur man trying to clip away dead buds and branches on one of the bushes.

As Byleth stood up, she heard a yelp of pain. Turning just in time to see Dimtri trying to shake out his hand as he dropped a pair of pruning shears.

“What happened?”

“S-Sorry, just got my hand on the shears…”

Byleth looked, and her eyes widened at his now steadily bleeding palm and sucked in a sharp breath. “Ouch… must’ve really cut yourself.”

Dedue stood up and looked at the prince’s bloody hand. “I shall fetch bandages.”

“It’s just a cut, it should be fine. It’ll stop bleeding in a moment.”

Byleth, saying no more and acting mostly out of habit, bit into part of her jacket sleeve and ripped off a long strip of the fabric. Nothing she couldn’t patch up later, and the cloak was already tattered from years of fighting.

She walked up to the two. “Here, I can take care of this.”

“Oh, professor, your jacket though…” Dimitri had a look of guilt.

“It’s fine. Better to stop the bleeding now until we can get care for it.” She held out her hand, inclining him to do the same.

He did so, a little reluctantly, but he did as asked and she wrapped the makeshift bandage around his hand.

“Dedue, can you grab Mercedes if she’s awake?” Byleth asked. “She can probably heal this.”

“I shall.” He answered sternly and left the greenhouse in a brisk manner.

As soon as he was gone, Byleth made a face at Dimitri. “You need to be careful with those garden shears. They can cut through skin like paper.”

He looked embarrassed. “I-I apologize, I’m not as skilled with more delicate tasks like trimming plants as I am with a lance.”

“It’s alright, just be more mindful next time.” She sighed. “You’re just like my father in that sense, he once cut a gash in his hand so deep he almost couldn’t hold a weapon in that hand.”

Dimitri looked shocked and afraid. “H-How did that happen?”

She made a face. “He was peeling vegetables with a dull knife. His hand slipped and he cut into the fleshy part of his hand. There was a lot of blood, and if the town didn't have a bishop, he could've permanently damaged his hand."

They both grimaced, though Byleth grimaced more thinking back on how much blood there was.

“I’ll be more aware next time,” Dimitri promised.

“Good. There, that should help until Mercedes gets here.” Byleth pulled away, looking over the bandage. It wasn’t soaking through, and Dimitri carefully moved his fingers. Still able to work despite the grey fabric being tightly wound around his hand.

He smiled at her kindly. “Thank you, Professor.”

She nodded back. “It’s alright.” She then picked up the culprit shears, gently wiped off the dirt with a rag she had been using to keep her hands clean, and carefully held them out to Dimitri. “Now then, let’s finish up the work. But I'll help you this time."

He nodded and took the tool. They both walked over to the garden box that he had been working on, and with Byleth’s guidance, he was able to cut away the dead leaves and buds on a healthy white rose bush.

“Huh, how pretty.” Byleth admired one of the buds; clean and pure like fresh snow. “They’re coming in so nicely. And I was worried for a while they wouldn't grow. They were diseased a bit last month... glad to see it passed."

Dimitri glanced over at her, curious. “Are they your favorite flowers?”

She laughed. “No, they’re beautiful, but they’re not my favorite flower.”

“No? Do you have a favorite?”

“I do, actually.” Byleth scanned the greenhouse. Her favorite wasn’t here, but she spotted a cousin of it. She pointed to a box across the way that had a small bush of light purple, small blooms. “Irises are my favorites. Well, not those types. My favorites are the blue ones.”

“Blue irises?” Dimitri looked at the box.

“Yes, blue irises are my favorite. I saw a huge field of them once, somewhere in the Adrestian Empire when I was younger. It had to have stretched for a mile, they were all blue irises. My father and I were just passing through, but we stopped just for a minute to look. The sun was just starting to rise, and it was one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen…” She paused, feeling her throat tighten a bit. “I remember then... my father picking a few of them and giving them to me as a small memento. He smiled, and said they were my mother’s favorites too.”

“Your mother?” Dimitri looked at her with a sort of awestruck expression from hearing her short story.

“She died shortly after I was born, so I never met her. My father doesn’t like to talk about her.” Byleth sighed quietly. “I think it hurts him too much to talk about her, so I didn’t really know what she was like. Not until I came here, at least. So back then, hearing those words… it felt like I finally had something to connect to her.”

“Oh… I’m so sorry.”

“I never knew her, so it’s a little difficult to feel anything." Byleth smiled wistfully in thought. "But... it makes me happy to think that, even though we’ve never met, we still have something in common. And I held onto those flowers, I took care of them as long as I could before they withered away. So from that point on, blue irises are my favorite. Because, in a way, they're our favorite.”

Dimitri was quiet, moved by Byleth's tale. "That's... that was very lovely, professor."

She nodded, taking a slow breath and waiting for the sudden flood of emotion to pass.

“I… I never knew my birth mother either. She died because of the plague shortly after I was born.” He suddenly said.

“Dimitri…” Byleth looked to him, sympathetic.

“No, it’s alright. It’s like you said… it’s hard to feel anything for someone you never met. My father said he saw her in me when I was younger, but no matter how much I stare I… I just don’t see it.”

Byleth was thoughtful for a moment as Dimitri stared at the garden box filled with white roses in front of them. “Did your father tell you what she was like?”

He shook his head. “Not my father. Rodrigue though, said she was a kind and wonderful woman who loved my father. And loved me even more. Apparently, when she fell ill, I was all she would talk about… right until she died.”

Byleth felt her chest tighten.

His voice went quiet. “It's so strange to me, hearing that about someone I don't remember. It's almost surreal. Not even just hearing about her, but my father and stepmother, even Glenn. Rodrigue will tell me things about them, what they were like before, things I didn't know. Almost like he's talking about three completely different strangers."

"Right... sometimes you forget other people knew them." Byleth stared at the roses.

"Exactly. I sometimes forget that I'm not the only one in mourning..." Dimitri looked suddenly grief-stricken. "And too often do I realize just how little time I had with them... and wish for just a minute to tell them everything I wanted to say or apologize for trivial things. If I knew how much time I had left, I would've asked more. I would've asked them what their lives were like before, what things they liked to do and what they disliked, maybe I could have found that connection for me to hold onto so I could remember them like that. Not what was burned into my memory from Duscur."

Byleth watched the prince as his shoulders sank. He lowered his gaze to where she couldn't read his expression anymore, and she could see his hands shaking.

"I'm glad you have something to connect yourself to your mother, Byleth. I truly am. I wish I had that... I don’t have anything to connect me to her. I don't have anything to connect me to any of them."

She stared at the young prince. He looked so alone in his thoughts now. She caught his face, morphed into sorrow, his eyes glistening in the light that came in through the ceiling.

She reached a hand out to him, and carefully brushed a stray strand of his hair behind his ear. “Well… I think I can see her kindness in you, Dimitri. So there's a connection there."

He looked to her, not expecting the gesture. “Professor?"

"I also see her kindness in how you care about your friends and how you listened to my story. So that makes three."

"I don't understand."

Byleth met his gaze, cornflower blue eyes to his frozen lake azure eyes. "We rarely are given those connections to people we've lost, Dimitri. Often times, we create them ourselves from what we have left. Maybe there's not a lot, but when we find them, we find more of a reason to hold on. So hold onto the times you had and not what you could've had. Cherish what you remember, because that is what we ultimately have left in the end. Time leaves us very little afterall, but what we remember can rarely be taken away. Those precious memories to connect us through the small things, whether its flowers or something even smaller like our kindness and our interests." She smiled kindly at him, and placed a hand on his back reassuringly.

"I think your mother would be so proud of who you are. I think they'd all be so proud of who you've become, Dimitri. Let that be what holds your head up, the memories of how much they loved you."

Byleth couldn't read his expression, but… for a moment, he looked like he was going to break down into tears in front of her.

He turned his face away and was shaking.

"Are you alright?"

"Y-Yes," His voice cracked, and he quickly wiped at his face with his uninjured hand. When he looked back at her, he was smiling. His eyes were glistening in the light, and there were the faintest traces of tear stains on his cheeks. "Thank you, Byleth... I needed to hear those words."

She smiled back at him gently. "Of course."

After a moment of quiet, Dimitri looked to the iris box again. “Perhaps I can send someone to gather blue iris seeds for the greenhouse?”

Byleth shook her head. “You don't have to do that. Besides, they don’t grow well outside their environment from what I understand. Even if you could bring a few here, there’s no guarantee they’ll grow.”

“Nonsense, with someone like Dedue and yourself taking care of them, I’m sure they’d grow as beautiful as the rest of these flowers. Maybe even more so than any of the flowers in this greenhouse.”

She looked to him, surprised. “You’d really do that? For me?”

“I would. You’re my professor and my friend, and…" he turned his face away for a moment, his cheeks a light rose color. "I-I'd do anything for you…"

Byleth barely heard those last words, but it still made her chest feel warm and her eyes felt like they were burning. Without a warning, she reached her hand out and gently brushed her hand against his bandaged hand. He hesitated for a moment, but then he returned the gesture, entwining his fingers within hers, careful not to apply pressure to the wound.

"Thank you." Byleth whispered as she leaned her head against his shoulder. 

He froze, but then put his arm around her shoulders slowly and pulled her closer. "Of course."

And they stayed as such. Not letting go. Not until Dedue and Mercedes returned a few moments later.

-

In the years leading after the fall of Garegg Mach, Dimitri’s mind had fallen to the shadows. He did little more than kill and sleep, only surviving due to the desire for revenge, not a necessity.

He walked, seemingly with no purpose, down roads and trails. Sometimes with a horse he stole from a village, but more often he walked alone. That night in particular, during the last days of his exile, he had walked for likely hours. He was cold but had grown numb. He hadn’t eaten in days but felt no hunger. He hadn’t slept but didn’t feel tired. He was injured but felt no pain.

Dimitri felt nothing. Nothing but the grasps of those who had died clinging to his back. His father, stepmother, Glenn, and so many more wailing behind him. Dedue was dead. Byleth was dead. He was alone in his madness.

He had tried to cover his ears, but they continued to cry loudly. As if they were standing right next to him.

**Avenge us. Why can’t you avenge us, Dimitri? Why did you have to live?!**

“I’ll bring you her head, I swear it!”

**You won’t. You can’t.**

“I will.”

**Pathetic prince, how dare you make empty promises. How dare you live and walk while the rest of us rot in the ground beneath your feet. How can we even stomach to look at you again if you don't return with our tribute?**

He tripped, lost in the fog of his mind. Dimitri stumbled, not completely falling but landing in a way that his aching limbs protested and made him almost collapse from exhaustion.

“Damn it…” He spat as he struggled to right himself. The weight of those who had died, along with the weapons he had taken, was truly taking a toll on his body.

_ I can’t go on any more… _

Despair constricted his throat as he leaned against a tree, struggling to breathe. He had to keep going, he couldn’t stop now. But he felt so tired. His limbs felt so heavy as if they had been filled with liquid metal, his head pounded as if someone or something were trying to break out of Dimitri's skull. His lungs burned, and his throat was on fire as if he were drowning. He felt so cold, dizzy, weakened and helpless.

_ I can’t do this anymore… _

He slumped against the tree, his hands shaking as he covered his face with fear, sorrow, and shame. Tears fell from his one eye, and the empty socket where the other had been, only to be ripped out by the sadistic hands of Cornelia. His skin felt cold against his own hands, more like a corpse than a person.

Then the onslaught of voices rang in his ears. They knelt beside him and yelled vicious, hateful words.

**You’re a failure.**

“I’m not a failure.”

**You should’ve died instead of us.**

“I know.”

**Why haven’t you killed her yet?!**

“I will kill her.”

**How do you plan to do that exactly?**

"I don't know."

**How do you expect to avenge us if you are too weak to stand up** **?**

"I don't know."

**Why haven't you died yet?**

"I don't _know._"

**Why do you bother going on at all you pathetic rat?!**

“I don’t _know_!” He screamed, his voice echoing into the trees. “Damn it, leave me alone! I will kill Edelgard, I swear-!” He choked, and coughed violently, his lungs hoarse from screaming. It felt as if he were drowning, but there was no water.

He lowered his hands, pulling the edges of his cloak closer. He felt so bitterly cold. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I'm sorry I'm alive and you're not... it should've been me..."

_I can't do this anymore... maybe if I just rest for a moment..._

No. He couldn't. If he did, he knew he'd never get up again. But... maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing? The voices would finally leave him alone, and he'd be at peace. Wouldn't he?

As he leaned his head against the tree, his chest rising and falling from his shallow breathing, something caught his eye. Something small, but bright blue. He craned his neck to the source and felt his heart stop.

There, on the ground in a small group together, no more than a few feet away, were several vibrantly colored blue irises that swayed slightly in the slight breeze.

He stared, shocked, and the voices suddenly grew quiet. Those... those were Byleth's flowers. Those were her favorites. 

Dimitri stared for a long moment, and felt as if a silent hand was trying to pull him forward.

He rose to his aching feet, trembling as he walked, each step feeling like he was walking on broken glass. But he walked, closer and closer to the small blue flowers.

It was only when he was close enough, that he saw it all; the bush here was only part of a small field completely dotted with blue irises. It stretched for maybe another few yards, and they all seemed to glow in the light of the soon to rise sun, all of them dancing slightly in the faint wind.

The sight of them all, how surreal it felt… it made him fall to his knees as he stared at them. He didn’t know if he should weep, or laugh at the irony of it all. To find the field mentioned by his dead professor. Maybe not the same field, but a field that she would've adored.

But Byleth was dead, the only thing they had found remaining of her at the battle of the monastery was a broken sword. Not her sword, a broken one that was a wild guess at best. A sword that he threw away, unable to look at. It hurt too much to look. They had found no body, no source that she made it out alive. He even looked, for days he looked through the rubble, prying through rocks until his fingernails bled. But he found no indication that she was dead or alive. He was hopeful though... at least for a while. Then after months and years of praying and looking... he gave up hope.

She was dead. And now Dimitri had nothing belonging to her anymore. He had nothing to tie him to someone so precious to him. He had nothing but the thirst for revenge as a way to keep him alive. No... not even alive, surviving.

And yet, he rose to his feet and walked through the field. Careful to not step on any of the delicate plants. He felt the tear tracks on his face grow cold from the morning air as he walked, and couldn't help but think back to when she had told him how she loved these flowers.

How he wished he could've found this place with her. How she'd smile, how they could've spent hours in this beautiful, quiet piece of the world. And how he wished that just one more time, he could hear her voice or hold her warm hand in his.

He reached the center of the field, knelt down, and stared at the blue flowers. Such a sharp contrast to what he was now that didn't suit his scarred fingers. Something so beautiful and frail didn't belong in his murderous hands.

“Byleth… I don’t know where you are. I don’t know if you’re dead or alive…” Dimitri spoke out loud. As if the professor could hear him. 

He took one of the swords from his back, and carefully withdrew an old torn piece of the jacket from his bag. She had used this so long ago as a makeshift bandage, but he had washed it clean of blood and had the intention of returning it. He never threw it out or replaced it, despite it being nothing but a piece of fabric. It was valuable to no one, but to Dimitri, it was a precious treasure.

A memento of peaceful days without war and bloodshed. A reminder that as much of a murderous monster he was... someone once loved him.

He tied the jacket piece around the handle tightly and then sunk the blade deep into the earth. Letting it stand alone in that field of azure blue, watching the grey fabric slightly flutter in the wind like the strip of a torn flag.

“I hope, wherever you are, you’re in a place as beautiful as this,” He mumbled, not taking his eyes away from the marker. “I don't even know if I have a soul left at this point… but if I do, I hope you’ll wait for it a little longer, if you've truly left me behind. "

Dimitri rose to his feet and looked to the horizon. From where he stood, he could see the faintest glimpse of Garegg Mach in the distance. Only another day's travel on foot. Feeling more energy now that he had rested for a moment, Dimitri turned his back on the marker. Then, after thinking for a moment, he turned back and pulled one iris from the ground. He looked over the dark blue petals and held the flower close to where his heart was. If he still had one after all these years of bloodshed. 

"Sweet dreams, Byleth," Dimitri walked in the direction of the horizon. "Please… wait for me. I’ll be joining you here soon.”

He never looked back, only looking in the direction of the monastery. A road that, he believed, to be his final march. Dimitri held the blue iris close to his chest and began his lonely walk again. Never looking back to that place where he hoped to join her at once more. 

**Author's Note:**

> Blue Irises: Symbols of Hope and Faith.
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading this and giving it kudos! I appreciate every single one of you. :)
> 
> I'm currently collaborating with EdlrechGremlin on another Fire Emblem Three Houses story called Gilded Sanctuary. Basically it's an AU fic with twins Byleth, the same one in this short bit, and Byriel her brother as they go through life in the academy. 
> 
> The two professors, children of time, must rely on each other to build trust between the collapsing relationships of Edelgard, Dimitri, and Claude to rise together and face the true enemy. (Written by two terribly exhausted writers in an attempt to put all the routes together because the children deserve it.)
> 
> Anyway, this scene will likely show up later down the line in that story, and I might put up a sequel to this if people are wanting to see Dimitri and Byleth come back to this little safe part of the world.
> 
> This scene was inspired by a certain part of NieR: Automata, it was short but so very tragic that I thought it suited a character as tragic as Dimitri.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading this. Hope you all enjoyed this story, and maybe check out Gilded Sanctuary if you have time. The story updates every Monday! Thanks again! :D
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/21023678/chapters/50003165


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